So, I cant help but think. Fuck you. Im not over this one. Im still mad. And i prob will be for a while now.
I have my friends. That all that matters. At least i know that they care. Then theres Justin. My best guy friend. Hes a real friend. Someone who tries and gives amazing advice. and actually tries.. When he fell for my best friend, Amber, it was a funn time. All us friends :). How come i miss the past soo much.. I actually want to go back to Dec 2009.. And I would change everything. I just want things to be back to normal.. My normal. What I consier normal. How is it possible for someone to hurt as much as this..
No one knows that what they say, stays. And no one understands that what they do, hurts. And you won't ever understand that i think this is happening for a reason. I dont think people get it that, if you hug me, my day becomes better. Hugs make me feel better. They make me feel like people love me.
.. Latly, I've had a lose of words. I dont know what to say to people anymore. They depend on me with their problems and I just dont know what to say anymore.. Like everyones problems have just become immune. ?. Like I feel so much pain that I cant even feel it anymore. This is bad. Im changing. Im falling. Im going no where but down. Funny thing is though, if you jsut told me you believed in me, and told me that i was perfect the way i am, then i would build myself up again.. But you cant say that.. Because you're too scared of what you'll think of yourself. No one even knows..
x.
