Maybe everything isnt worth it.
Maybe if i try harder, everything will fall into place
Maybe if i forgive more, i will hurt less
Theres so many things i can TRY to better my life.. Truth be told though.. I just really want you here. Along with Amye. The guilt just builds up inside of me.. I miss Amber so much. I miss going to her with my problems crying my eyes out, like this summer, at 1 , crying in her yard, broken down , she was the one that just got me. I miss having my sister hug me.
Stop trying so hard to be my friend.. Friends come, and friends go.
I've been ignoring some people.. But only because I cant talk to them. Because i'm slowly breaking down. Losing every little part of me. I cant even think straight. I miss you. Just you. You, knowing who you were, being rude without caring. Now this. Stop acting like something you're not.. Dont tell me you love me, you dont even know me.. I wonder- killie pickler hahah again, I mention this song. Again I laugh at myself. I'm weak. Too weak. Its not okay. This song makes me cry. I just really need someone that tells me they love me. And someone who means it. Like ACTUALLY MEANS MEANS IT. I think thats what I need.. Last night aaron told me he " wuvs me " Okay ? So I was all like " I wuvs you too sweetheart " I dont mind telling my FRIENDS that I love them. But .. There's this one friend, who i cant say i love you too, why is that? I thought i had an idea.. But i dont anymore.
Sometimes, I just want a hug =( I adore people who adore giving hugs.
I didnt go to school today. Reasons no one would understand, so dont try to understand. People who get me will understand. Do you get me?.
I had this dream.. wow. Thats all i can say. wow. Fuck everything sometimes.
OH ! Here's to you. If you're trying to act like a friend thenn does that mean you're trying ?.. But why would you be trying.. right ? . Do you honestly care about our friendship. LOLOLL. thats funnaaay. Because I dont like fake people. Same with this guy, who throws things at me in class. God. talk about grade 2 all over again. Its kind of annoying. I dont want to talk to him though, hes really popular, i have a problem with that. His friend, in my socials class, tries talking to me, am I too stubborn ? I'm such a bitch. I wont talk to these guys because everyone knows them?. I guess i just want people to not know me. I dont want to be noticed. I just want to live my life, without a worry. I fucking wish..
I NEEEED A SIGNNN. One that just tells me that everything will be okay one day. And that I shouldn't give up hope.. and one that helps, should I stay your friend.. or push you away ?.
This isn't even about you. But it is about you.
This is harder for me to figure out then I thought..
I'm going to post one tonight,
About you.
How YOU actually make me feel.
you.
Actually.. The truth is.. I just want everything to go back to the way they were before.
x.
