Well I swear, i'm going insane =( I just want to be noticed by this guy.. But that seems impossible, he's doing nothing of the sort.. That doesn't make sense... But to me it does.. So more thoughts, I want to try and start something here.. Only I want to wait.. I don't want to start something so young and screw it all up, like our friendship. I believe that there is more.. With everything. Do I though?. I'm even confusing myself right now.. But this is exactly what my thoughts have been. Do I even wonder across your thoughts at all. URGH this is so hard to say.. You wouldn't even know how my feelings are about this.. Or what is running through my head. I've been so confused lately. You're like a drug. One that I can't stop taking. One that I can't live without. I always have to take you, talk to you, feel your emotions, breath you. I just need to know you're here though. But the funny thing is that you're not here. YOU ARE THE LUCKY ONE.. What song is that?. Do you even care that i'm ignoring you?. Obviously not hey.. Now that I think back on it , I remember when you liked me, and I thought you didn't =/ and not its the other way around ? This is so unfair. I am pouting about all this shit.. And I shouldn't be. Could I be anymore caught up in myself ? wait.. I'm not though ? aaah. Just die already =(. I dont want to think about things and have my day brought down.. It's like I just want to say yah sweet, I don't care. I wish I didn't care =( .
"Dear you, I DON'T CARE !! "
But i'm not like that. I just want someone to be beside me. Someone who isn't you. Someone unique. That I can picture myself laying next to, or cuddling with.. Talking about life, spilling my secrets, I want something like what me and that guy at the begging of the summer had.. " as stars lay down the kiss you, I'll lie awake and miss you .. " I've become an epic fan of Ustream lately. And another thing, a lot has changed... Like a lot !!! I have to keep myself in the thought that my friends will be back soon.. and that everything works its way out when i'm down about something.. FML I hate being ugly, friendless, anti-social and alone. I hate it all. I hate me sometimes. And sometimes I get really " emo " Like this. But only because I feel so alone. I'm too sensitive and I take everything to heart. I beat myself up for everything that I can't be, and that I wish I was. I wish a lot. I wish away my life at times. I'm too eager to make new friends, I open to people to simply. I wish I was out right now, I had such a great day, I wish I was more open towards guys though. I swear guys think I don't like them.. Then just fuck off. That's what my problem is. URG IM COMPLAINING TOOO MUUUCCCCH ! I just need to live life .. Actually I just need to cry. And I need to accept everything for what it is, actually.. I already do that.. I could type all night.. But I just feel like laying in the dark with my IPod and cell phone. I like doing that a lot, it eases me. You dont get me. And you never will. Mkay ? THANKS. ttyl... for a while.. maybe? I hope not >=/
x.
