Start over.
I know, that everything happens for a reason. And I was put here for a reason. A reason that I can not comprehend. I think, maybe once a person passes away, it is because they have finally done what they needed to do on Earth. Like a new born baby, maybe giving a mother and father strength, or pulling a young couple together. Or a middle aged lonely man, inspiring a young boy to be the best he can he. I do not even know; although, I do know that the world throws curve balls at us. And we all may not be severe victims of these curves, but victims none the less. My point is drifting from my mind now. I have new thoughts vastly flowing into my head as I sit here. I wonder if I just made things worse for myself, or if I have granted myself with more power than before. Each day, however, when I do the same repetitive action, I DO NOT regret it. As the hours pass from what I do though, I end up regretting it in a huge amount. Over and over and over again. And each day I do this, I make things worse. Allowing MYSELF to be the victim in a situation that I hardly want to allow myself to be involved in.
My world is crazed, and I need people telling me that they are here. But when I think of my constant thoughts I just want to say a HUGE fuck you!. Fake people wonder into my life at times, the times when I take my guard down. Some of them are stronger than others. And some are weak and easy to pick out. I rid my life of these kind of devilishly fake, sarcastic people.. And look for pure, graceful people. Ones with intellect. Ones with love, compassion, wants and needs.
Obviously my hopes are way up there with my dreams...
x.
