I cant wear my glasses, because my eye lashes scrape the lenses and it really annoys me >.<
My day is not perfect. It is not fine. It is not okay. My day.. sucks. Truly. Is it because finding our what i found out yesterday brought me down.. Because of it i have to prevent myself from talking to you. I should looking, if you have something to tell me, then tell me. Dont worry about hurting my feeelings, its better than me jumping to conclucions..
I've also come to the conclusion, that all the good guys are either gay or taken.. And my head somehow decided that you never fall for the right girls.. Did i make us too much of friends to become any more than JUST that.. ? . Have a secretly fucked over something that I want(ed) so much ? .. I curled my extensions today, and teased my layers.. I got attention from everyone that i didnt want to get attention from. Why is it, that I want the one that wants someone else ? that he wants someone else who doesnt want him?.. Why do you do confusing things like that like THIS ?!. fuck..
Falling in love is SUCH an easy thing to doo.
Texts. My friend txted me last night, he wanted a hug =( It was sad. ' Cause I wanted a hug too. And hes the first person to actually ask me for a hug. ( well other than kristen ) .. But i mean. When people are feeling the same way as you.. it works. I dont know what that means.. Just pulled it out of my head. Is this getting to long ? =( I have SO much more to say. Other than him texting me, my other guy friend txted meee. =D ? mkay. Im kinda lost with this friend, if you want to be in a friendship, act like it ? Immm sorrry, but you cant act one way then a different way the next day. I mean, I totallly get this guy, well all my friends i get. I feeeelll the same pain as them =( . But I like to know that im not wasting my time on people, that people actually want to committ to a friennndshippp. No. I love my friends ! Some more than others;). kiddss. Kristen, and josh. Fuck him. If he wants her back he'll come after her. But he doesnt.. Guys ARE SO CONFUSING. like reallllllyyyy. How come .. how come .. Why can't we be like the warewolfs in Eclipes. They automatically know who their suppose to be with. I guess that just makes life have a lesser purpose then?. Maybe ?..
Then theres the first one, the one that you will always have feelings for, no matter what. My heart still skips a beat when I hear from you. Im ignoring my one friend.. The ones the like me, I'm afraid of. Fuck.
I such a fuck up.
Why wont my mom talk to me.. The song " I wonder - Kellie Pickeler " (i cant spell) Makes me think of my mom.. Just casue this song is about the same thing im going through with her.. I wish i HAD someone there , like my friends to.. Someone that would kiss my forehead and tell me they loved me.. I never had that. I still dont. I never really had a mom =( .. Just my grandma. URGG NO more on this subject!!
I read this great peice of advice last night.
" Dont ask yourself ' why is this happeneing to me, my life sucks ' Instead ask yourself ' whats the reason for all this happening ?' "
mhmm, take that. And learn from it.. I WILL end up posting more tonight. Bitching about life. eff... Maybe around ten?. idc.
x.
